‘The Hurricane Heist’ Blasts Away Believability

Alci Rengifo

A good bad movie requires that everyone involved believes in it. “The Hurricane Heist” feels as if the cast and crew gave up from day one and surrendered themselves to making a goofy, over-acted recycling of every action plot involving CGI storms, heist crews and big rigs. Imagine “Den of Thieves” combined with “Into the Storm,” except it doesn’t have the B-movie charm of the latter. At least the movie isn’t a full letdown in the visual effects department. The hurricane itself looks pretty good, with the necessary, deadly winds, behemoth waves and an off the rails leitmotif which shall be discussed later. What you get here is half the package: Some entertaining storm shots, but no entertaining plot.

The movie opens during 1992’s hurricane Andrew. Two brothers, Will and Breeze, witness the tragic death of their father while seeking shelter from the storm. Cut to the present and Will (Toby Kebbell) is now a meteorologist working near the Alabama coast. Breeze (Ryan Kwanten) is an army veteran who drinks and looks for girls willing to go home with him. A major hurricane is now approaching the coast which Will warns is the most savage storm ever recorded (of course). On the other side of town a crew of professional criminals led by a nefarious character named Perkins (Ralph Ineson) have infiltrated the local U.S. treasury facilities with the aim of stealing $600 million locked away in a vault, the storm itself will provide cover for escape. There’s just one problem, the only person who can open the vault is treasury agent Casey (Maggie Grace), and she is not going to play ball. As the storm gets more intense a cat and mouse game ensues.

There are moments when “The Hurricane Heist” could have worked as a throwback to those natural disaster thrillers from the 1990s like “Hard Rain,” “Twister” or “Dante’s Peak.” The premise itself has that kind of fun, whacky spirit where simple concepts are meshed together (rob a bank during a hurricane). But it always feels like the first draft was written and shot without any revisions. This feeling comes across particularly in the dialogue, which is the very definition of unsubtle and on the nose. Two characters will face off between a bulletproof door and someone will literally say “it’s bulletproof.” In another scene Will and Casey hide in a shed and bad guys storm in announcing, “we have automatics!” Compared to those moments you forgive the overdone attempts at finding memorable one-liners (“money is honey”). The idea itself can’t be faulted because the premises of these movies are supposed to be unbelievable, which is why the execution is so important. Director Rob Cohen should be an old pro at this. His credits include “Dragonheart,” a lighthearted medieval romp where Sean Connery famously voiced a dragon, and the original “The Fast & the Furious,” which had B-movie grit and kick started the massive franchise. Here the shoot outs in the rain, the eventual double crossings, hostage takings, etc. are all “been there, done that” in their tone, moving from point to point like a beat sheet.

It feels as if Cohen focused all his energies on the title’s hurricane. The movie actually becomes a guilty pleasure when everyone shuts up and Cohen just lets the storm do its job. There’s a fabulously absurd moment in a mall where the roof is ripped off by hurricane winds and two characters are sucked out into the sky, attached to ropes and flying around. And of course, there is a scene where a raging flood bursts in right on time to save someone from a gang of shooters. There’s excitement in another scene where characters in semis try desperately to outrun the storm, with characters leaping from one truck to another in absurd but wildly entertaining fashion. During these moments the plot itself doesn’t matter anymore because it wasn’t that interesting to begin with. At least during the storm we can bask in pure spectacle. You can almost forgive a recurring image Cohen throws in of a skull-like face that forms in the storm itself, groaning or cackling. If the movie had maintained that kind of unabashed recklessness, we might have had something here.

A movie like this can be carried along by the acting. But the cast here is trapped within the confines of a terrible script. There is no sense of nuance in any of the dialogue, every single line is either explaining something or telling a bad joke. Some characters, like two hacker lovers who are in the heist crew, feel like unnecessary, extra weight. The only actor who truly seems to be basking in his role is Ben Cross as a corrupt sheriff named Dixon, played with devilish energy. Toby Kebbell should also be given credit for attempting to bring a serious air to the role, delivering absurd dialogue while trying to believe in it. He understands this can only work if you can make an audience believe it, which is what Nicolas Cage and Bruce Willis understood in their heyday.

The key question facing a potential visitor to the theater this weekend is if “The Hurricane Heist” is worth their time.  If you choose to see it you might end up asking yourself why this was even made, at least in its current form. The hurricane itself delivers but the story is left empty-handed.

“The Hurricane Heist” opens March 9 in theaters nationwide.