Netflix’s ‘Pray Away’ Exposes the Harms Caused by the ‘Ex-Gay’ Movement

Sandra Miska

Conversion therapy has been front and center in many narrative films. It has been explored in comedy movies like “But I’m a Cheerleader,” and the darker side of ministries praying on LGBTQ youth has also been exposed in more dramatic films like “Boy Erased” and “The Miseducation of Cameron Post.” In “Pray Away,” an emotional and eye-opening Netflix documentary, those who have been victims and/or the perpetrators of these harmful teachings speak out.

Executive produced by Ryan Murphy and directed by Kristine Stolakis, “Pray Away” tells the story of the ‘ex-gay’ movement from its orgins in the 1970s, when Michael Bussee, one of the subjects here, saw a need in his church for support for people like him who “struggled” with same-sex attractions. He co-founded Exodus International, the first major ‘ex-gay’ organization. The movement really took off in the more conservative ’80s, when many shaken by the AIDS epidemic (including Yvette Cantu Schneider, a former “practicing lesbian” who lost 17 friends to AIDS) found refuge in evangelical Christianity. Cantu Schneider gives an illuminating interview, explaining how she initially found comfort in the structure of the church. Her smarts, ease with public speaking, and looks (she was told that she didn’t “look gay”) helped get her a job at the Family Research Council, a conservative organization who essentially used her as a pawn, and clips of her and others being interviewed by news programs during the Bush years and before highlight how far the right went in using the “gay agenda” as a scare tactic to milk money from religious voters.

Both Cantu Schneider and John Paulk, another leader at Exodus, get candid about the internal struggles they secretly had when they were out there being shining examples for other ex-gays. They both admit that they thought just by marrying opposite-sex partners and abstaining from gay sex meant that they weren’t gay or bisexual, discounting the very real feelings they still had for those of the same sex. It was all about appearances in the world they lived in.

While Bussee, Cantu Schneider, Paulk and most others interviewed came to the ‘ex-gay’ movement on their own as adults, Julie Rodgers was pushed into conversion therapy, a form of therapy championed by ex-gay ministries that has been deemed harmful by mainstream psychologists (LGBTQ teens exposed to it are twice as likely to commit suicide). While she was hailed by Ricky Chelette, the leader of another ‘ex-gay’ ministry called Living Hope, as being a success story and pushed to speak publicly, she was secretly mutilating herself. As dismal as this sounds, Rodgers’ real story is one of renewed hope, as Stolakis follows her and her partner Amanda as they plan their wedding in a progressive church. 

The passage of Prop 8 in 2008, the state constitutional amendment intended to ban same-sex marriage in California, is seen here as a turning point in opening up the eyes of many in the ‘ex-gay’ movement to the pain they inflicted on the LGBTQ community. Still, the movement persists today. Stolakis treats all her subjects with empathy and Jeffrey McCall, a current ‘ex-gay’ activist who previously identified as a trans woman, is no exception. One cannot help but feel for him when he’s shown standing in front of a grocery offering up prayers for strangers, seemingly desperate to make connections. There’s no doubt about the very real pain and hurt he has suffered in his life, but he continues an ugly cycle. During a meeting, he speaks against educators who strive to affirm the identities of their trans students, stating that they encourage children to “chop up their bodies,” another example of crass language being used to dehumanize those in the LGBTQ community and oversimplify what they go through.

Overall, “Pray Away” is a straightforward documentary that is both illuminating and informative. One minor criticism is that while Stolakis goes out of her way to humanize those featured, she overuses dramatic music and superfluous scenic shots.

“Pray Away” begins streaming Aug. 3 on Netflix.