‘My Dead Friend Zoe’ Movingly Faces the Aftershocks of War on a Soldier’s Psyche 

Alci Rengifo

American culture loves to celebrate the idea of the warrior, yet patriotic discourse rarely focuses on the very real psychological toll of combat. Kyle Hausmann-Stokes, who has served and wants to capture the experiences of his platoonmates, makes a focused directorial debut with “My Dead Friend Zoe.” This is a film about soldiers, one that is devoid of action or heart-pounding images of warfare. The raging conflict is taking place inside its main character, who grapples with a unique kind of tragedy you rarely see explored in movies about U.S. Army life. 

Merit (Sonequa Martin-Green) is a veteran who served in Afghanistan in 2016 and is now closed off, refusing to share anything at the court-mandated group therapy session she attends headed by Dr. Cole (Morgan Freeman). After having a sudden incident at a job, clearly triggered by PTSD, Merit has been ordered to attend therapy. She is constantly followed by her friend and platoonmate Zoe (Natalie Morales), who is the more sarcastic type. The problem is, Zoe is dead. She is just a mental apparition that Merit still talks to, refusing to let go of the past. Flashbacks take us to Afghanistan, where the two were close friends even as gaps emerged due to Merit being on the college track with Zoe having no ambitions beyond possibly re-enlisting. Something eventually led to the tragedy that shattered Merit’s peace. When the haunted soldier has to go care for her grandfather Dale (Ed Harris), a Vietnam veteran showing early signs of Alzheimer’s, Merit’s inner struggles will only grow more intense.

“My Dead Friend Zoe” is the latest example of a good drama that doesn’t have to rely too heavily on plot formulas. Because there is personal investment in the narrative from the filmmaker, the writing brims with sincerity. It is about feeling Merit’s sense of finding little solace in a confused existence, crushed by guilt. Sonequa Martin-Green and Natalie Morales’ performances are vital in establishing a relaxed, natural friendliness, where they do feel like two women making the best of life in the military. The Afghan war itself is silent background. Stokes focuses on the mundane existence of sitting in a base as a grunt who probably enlisted out of a need to work, not necessarily driven by patriotic fervor. Merit, who does come from a family of veterans, even wonders why Zoe wants to re-enlist when she openly calls the war a useless imperialist venture. 

Stoke’s intelligent screenplay subtly forms these contradictions into a build-up for revealing the terrible dimensions of how Zoe died. Even in the military, class becomes a factor and Zoe can’t help but slightly resent her friend for seeming to have it easy as a mixed Black American woman with some privilege. She has a cottage and loving family to return to, while Zoe seemingly has no one. She’s an example of the working class American for whom the military offers some form of job security if they stick to it. Merit tries to push her friend to consider college, not fully understanding how for some people opportunities are not so easy to grab. Without too much exposition, we get enough details of Merit’s own life from meeting someone like her mother, Kris (Gloria Reuben), a straight arrow type who doesn’t seem to comprehend the emotional turmoil dominating her daughter.

The other characters introduced serve the story well without becoming feel-good clichés. Ed Harris’ Dale is a loving grandfather hiding a fearsome boomer beginning to lose his sense of memory. In a poignant scene, he makes the generation gap glaring by pointing out that he had to change in an airport bathroom when returning from Vietnam, due to the hostility veterans faced returning from an unpopular war. Merit’s generation of soldiers receive more applause, so what’s eating her inside? It is a question a potential love interest like Alex (Utkarsh Ambudkar), who runs the local retirement home, will also ask when he takes Merit out for a drink and sees her triggered into a PTSD episode. Dr. Cole, played by Morgan Freeman with his trademark sage presence, attempts to break through by encouraging Merit to attend therapy, because speaking about it may be the only way.

When Stokes does reveal Zoe’s fate, it is so human and devastating. “My Dead Friend Zoe” then becomes about more than just war or even the military, but about choices we make that seem so meaningless until they produce consequences we will carry forever, even after closure. The director dedicates the film to two specific friends, including real footage from Afghanistan during the end credits. Behind the veneer of glorifying institutions and militarism are real people. A movie like this is a genuine tribute to veterans by reminding viewers these are lives being lived behind all the parades, recruitment ads and pompous statements by politicians claiming to care about those sent to fight wars which they then bring back home. 

“My Dead Friend Zoe” releases Feb. 28 in theaters nationwide.