‘Dying for Sex’: A Superb Michelle Williams Seeks Sexual Liberation With Emotionally Stirring Gusto

Alci Rengifo

By now it would seem that sex has been explored from every possible angle in media. Then a show comes along like FX’s “Dying for Sex” that feels new by looking at the sincere nature of desire. Aside from pleasure, sensation and procreation, sex obsesses us because it can define so much of who we are as individuals. Few insecurities sting as acutely as those which are sexual, since they tap into our most private, intimate selves. The rise of dating apps hasn’t helped. These and many other themes find room in a show that is really about mortality and what being alive can truly mean. Michelle Williams adds pathos to material that could have descended into kinky camp.

The series is another I.P. acquisition, here it’s of the Wondery podcast by Nikki Boyer of Molly Kochan (played in this series by Williams). Staying true to Kochan’s experience, this show begins with her at couples counseling with husband Steve (Jay Duplass), her mind drifting to a memory of great oral sex in her 20s. The moment is interrupted by a call from her doctor with fateful news. Molly has stage 4 cancer. As Dr. Pankowitz (David Rasche) makes clear, nothing can be done. Compounding the anguish is Molly suffering from a lack of physical fulfillment. Steve has become a cold fish who hasn’t touched her since becoming her caretaker. The truth is Molly at 40 has never truly experienced a great orgasm with another person. She reveals her plight to best friend Nikki (Jenny Slate), who has had great sex with multiple partners and has just moved in with boyfriend Noah (Kelvin Yu). Molly and Nikki take a collective leap during which Molly will leave Steve while Nikki becomes her new caretaker while she pursues the sexually fulfilling life she never had.

Creators Elizabeth Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock, with directors Shannon Murphy and Chris Teague, keep the season engaging with each episode running at 30 minutes. More importantly, they strive to tell an actual human story that doesn’t use sex and cancer as the typical clichés they tend to be. It is already noteworthy how the narrative pushes aside the male gaze. Molly’s journey is about a woman regaining her agency and right to sexual fulfillment, an arena where in media typically men are the downtrodden ones seeking some comfort. Additionally, the writing avoids reducing Molly to just another horny wife. Her desires are shown as the natural result of a form of repression surely relatable to many viewers. Unlike what the movies would have us believe, life isn’t for everyone an easy game of pick and choose your lovers. Visually, sexual daydreams feel true to the real thing, edited in a jagged haze like a mind craving touch.

Movies and TV shows have always demonstrated sex almost as a sport you can indulge in every day if you just have confidence. Granted, some out there have been bestowed such a gift. For someone like Molly, even entering her 40s, sex remains something not fully explored and connected to the silencing of her most inner wants. She gets a dating app and soon realizes a hook up doesn’t always go smoothly, especially with a guy in his 20s who overcomplicates the matter. She spots a good looking prospect in an elevator, possibly summoning the courage to invite him up to her hotel room. This leads to a funny but rather smart meditation on the value of masturbation and its healthier connection to one’s imagination. Though, the moment also leads to Molly’s first experience with getting blackmailed online with racy footage of herself. She will also encounter cock cages, the BDSM underground and realizing that she has a kink for being the dominant. 

You are moved and moved to real laughs during “Dying for Sex.” There is a sloppy neighbor (Rob Delaney) who inspires hostility from Molly, culminating in her kicking him in the balls. It turns out he likes it. She likes it too. Yet, instead of turning such material into raunchy slapstick, it is treated more as another layer of self-discovery for Molly. Steve is so vanilla of course he can never tune into what his wife truly wants. He can only warn Nikki at first that she will be a terrible caretaker. One of this series’ more endearing angles is how the free-spirited friend evolves into someone who can indeed care for a dying friend, including having to maneuver the archaic American healthcare system. Sissy Spacek is also a wonderful side character as Molly’s estranged mother. One of the strongest episodes deals with that estrangement being the product of childhood abuse Molly experienced, which also contributed to her lost sense of sexual exploration. We rarely see this on television. Everyone wants or gets sex on TV, while here there is a keen understanding of how sensitive the human mind is. Moments, incidents, fears and other factors can easily leave someone detached from genuine intimacy.

This doesn’t sound like a show about mortality but it most certainly is. Moments of great dark comedy, like Molly bringing a human pet from a kink app to a chemo session, are bold but never airless. Molly doesn’t need to be a hero and rebels against the notion, to the point of purposefully making Steve and his new girlfriend uncomfortable later in the season. She is confronting the dilemma of wanting to have experiences denied to her for so long, while realizing soon enough none of it will matter. Sex becomes a metaphor for any brave act in life. How many experiences, travels or chances do we hold back from carrying out because of a particular fear? Would we have the courage to see them through if the clock to our end starts ticking? “Dying for Sex” is a great show about that most universal of needs by remembering that it can be about a lot more than just getting physical.

“Dying for Sex” begins streaming April 4 on FX on Hulu.