In ‘A Real Pain,’ Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin Are Clashing Cousins on a Road Trip With a Deeper Meaning

Sandra Miska

Two very different Jewish men, bound together by blood and a shared grief, make a pilgrimage in Jesse Eisenberg’s heartfelt comedy-drama “A Real Pain.” Eisenberg not only wrote, directed and co-produced this film, but also stars alongside Kieran Culkin as one half of an odd-couple cousin duo. Eisenberg plays David Kaplan, a successful NYC digital ad salesman and family man who, in accordance with the wishes of their recently-deceased shared grandmother, arranges for himself and his cousin Benji to go on a Jewish heritage tour of Poland. Their final stop is to be their grandma’s childhood home, the last place she was before the Holocaust. 

As heavy as this may sound, “A Real Pain” is, in many ways, a road trip and buddy comedy. Most of the humor comes from Culkin, who, in an emotionally excellent performance, vividly portrays Benji as a lovable “loser.” Born just three weeks apart, he and David used to be close, but life has taken them in different directions. Benji is unemployed and lives in upstate New York in his mother’s basement. We see the differences between these two men straight away when they meet up in the bustling airport. Benji arrives hours early, but not for the reason one would think. To him, the airport is a cool place to kick back and socialize. It is David who is the nervous traveler. He has reason to be anxious, as he believes Benji is trying to get weed past TSA. This pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film, as much tension arises out of the clashes between high-strung David and Benji, who takes being carefree to a whole new level.

In Poland, David and Benji meet up with the rest of the tour group, led by Brit James (Will Sharpe), a gentile historian who is enthusiastic about Jewish history. The group is composed of a few other Americans wishing to connect to their roots: Marcia (Jennifer Grey), a divorced woman with grown children looking to do something meaningful, and a retired couple, Diane (Liza Sadovy) and Mark (Daniel Oreskes), who finally have time to travel. Rounding out the group is Eloge (Kurt Egyiawan), an African immigrant who converted to Judaism. A survivor of the genocide in Rwanda, he felt at home with the Jewish community he met in Canada. 

Eisenberg put a lot of thought not only in his characters, but also in setting up the dynamic between the cousins. David gets frustrated with Benji, like on their first night in Poland when Benji insists on smoking weed on the roof of the hotel, instead of turning in after being up for 24 hours. Although David is easily exhausted by his cousin, there is a large part of him that pities him. Benji had a past mental health episode that comes to light in the third act, something that eats away at David. A big reason he seems to feel bad is that he assumes that single Benji is lonely. However, it is Benji who has no problem striking up conversations with people wherever he is. But there is another side to him too. Twice during the tour, Benji has outbursts. At one point, he calls out James for lecturing about history in a cemetery, claiming he is being disrespectful to the dead. He also complains about the lack of authentic interactions with locals while on the tour. During a train ride, he passionately expresses his discomfort in sitting in first class, while on a trip that includes visiting a concentration camp.

Is Benji justified in his strong opinions, or is he cringey and attention seeking? The tour group is divided. But as David and Benji continue their journey, it becomes clear that both have lingering grief from their grandmother’s death, and both have dealt with it in different ways. Society expects adults to not overly-mourn grandparents, but the loss of their matriarch has had a profound impact on both of these men. Perhaps each would be in a better place if they had allowed themselves to grieve properly, but this is a complex story and Eisenberg does not try to wrap everything up neatly by the time David and Benji return to the States. What he does instead is reveal some deep and important truths about how far kindness, empathy and spending real time together can go in strengthening familial bonds. And, through Benji, we see just how vital connections with strangers, even fleeting ones, can be for one’s mental health.

“A Real Pain” releases Nov. 1 in select theaters, Nov. 14 nationwide.